Korean Quoting Commands & Requests: -(으)라고 하다 and -자고 하다
Korean relays commands with -(으)라고 하다 (빨리 오라고 했어요 — told me to come quickly), suggestions with -자고 하다 (같이 가자고 했어요), and requests with -어/아 달라고 하다 (for the speaker) vs -어/아 주라고 하다 (for a third party).
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Written by Alvin Lim Certified Korean Language Teacher (Level 2)
Korean relays a COMMAND with -(으)라고 하다 (빨리 오라고 했어요 — he told me to come quickly), a SUGGESTION with -자고 하다 (같이 가자고 했어요 — he suggested we go together), and a REQUEST with -어/아 달라고 하다 when the favor is for the speaker (친구가 도와 달라고 했어요 — he asked me to help him) versus -어/아 주라고 하다 when it’s for a third party (동생을 도와 주라고 했어요 — she told me to help my brother). To list excuses, -다거나 strings options together (아프다거나 바쁘다거나 핑계를 댔어요). This lesson finishes the conjugation half of the reported-speech block.
Last lesson you mastered relaying statements and questions with -다고 and -냐고. But people don’t only state and ask — they order, propose, and request. Korean gives each its own quotative ending, and the request pair (달라 vs 주라) trips up almost every learner. Sort these out and you can relay any kind of sentence.
Ten words for commands and requests
These frame every instruction, proposal, and favor you’ll relay.
Relaying a command vs a suggestion — -(으)라고 / -자고 하다
Two quotative moods that pair naturally. -(으)라고 하다 relays a COMMAND (do it); -자고 하다 relays a SUGGESTION (let’s do it). Commands add 으 after a consonant stem.
빨리 오라고 했어요 = he told me to come quickly (command, vowel stem) 천천히 먹으라고 했어요 = he told me to eat slowly (command, consonant stem +으) 같이 가자고 했어요 = he suggested we go together (suggestion) 친구가 영화를 보자고 했어요 = my friend suggested watching a movie (suggestion)
Negatives mirror them neatly: command “don’t” = -지 말라고 (가지 말라고 했어요 = he told me not to go); suggestion “let’s not” = -지 말자고 (가지 말자고 했어요).
A request for the speaker — -어/아 달라고 하다
When the favor is for the original speaker (the person doing the asking), use -어/아 달라고 하다. The verb 주다 becomes the special form 달라 — it always points the favor back at the asker.
친구가 좀 도와 달라고 했어요 = my friend asked me to help HIM 돈을 빌려 달라고 했어요 = he asked me to lend money to him 사진을 찍어 달라고 했어요 = she asked me to take a photo for her 창문을 열어 달라고 했어요 = he asked me to open the window for him
In every case the speaker is the beneficiary: help me, lend me, do it for me. That’s the job of 달라 — a quotative form that exists only for requests aimed back at the one who asked.
A request for a third party — -어/아 주라고 하다
When the favor is for someone else — not the speaker — use -어/아 주라고 하다. Here 주다 keeps its normal command form 주라.
엄마가 동생을 도와 주라고 하셨어요 = mom told me to help my younger sibling 할머니께 자리를 양보해 주라고 했어요 = he told me to give up my seat for grandma 친구에게 책을 빌려 주라고 했어요 = she told me to lend the book to my friend 아이에게 밥을 먹여 주라고 했어요 = she told me to feed the child
Side by side: 도와 달라고 = help me (the speaker) vs 도와 주라고 = help someone else. Always ask “who gets the help?” — that single question picks 달라 or 주라 every time.
Listing excuses — -는다거나/-다거나
To relay a loose bundle of statements or excuses, string them with -다거나 (saying things like X or Y). Action verbs take -ㄴ다거나/-는다거나; adjectives take plain -다거나.
아프다거나 바쁘다거나 하면서 핑계를 댔어요 = he made excuses like being sick or busy 가겠다거나 안 가겠다거나 분명하지 않아요 = it’s not clear whether he’ll go or not 주말에 잔다거나 게임을 한다거나 그래요 = on weekends he says things like he sleeps or plays games 음식이 짜다거나 싱겁다거나 불평했어요 = he complained, saying things like the food was salty or bland
The pattern relays vagueness on purpose — a person who keeps offering shifting reasons. Pair it with 핑계를 대다 (make excuses) and you’ve captured the very Korean feel of someone wriggling out of something.
Relaying commands and excuses in one chat
Watch one friend relay a boss’s order, a coworker’s request, and a flaky friend’s excuses — every quotative mood at once:
Trace each mood: 끝내라고 is a command, 하자고 a suggestion, 도와 달라고 a request aimed back at Minsu, and 아프다거나 바쁘다거나 a string of excuses. With statements, questions, commands, suggestions, and requests all in hand, you can now relay any sentence Korean throws at you.
FAQ
What’s the difference between -(으)라고 하다 and -자고 하다? Both relay something other than a plain statement, but the mood differs. -(으)라고 하다 reports a COMMAND or instruction — someone telling another person to do something: 선생님이 조용히 하라고 하셨어요 (the teacher told us to be quiet); 빨리 오라고 했어요 (he told me to come quickly). It attaches to the verb stem: 가다 → 가라고, 먹다 → 먹으라고 (a consonant stem adds 으). -자고 하다 reports a SUGGESTION or proposal — “let’s…”: 같이 가자고 했어요 (he suggested we go together); 친구가 영화를 보자고 했어요 (my friend suggested watching a movie). So -(으)라고 is “do it,” while -자고 is “let’s do it.”
When do I use -어/아 달라고 하다 versus -어/아 주라고 하다? Both relay a request to do a favor, and the choice depends on WHO benefits. Use -어/아 달라고 하다 when the favor is for the speaker themselves (the person who originally asked): 친구가 좀 도와 달라고 했어요 = my friend asked me to help HIM; 돈을 빌려 달라고 했어요 = he asked me to lend money to him. Use -어/아 주라고 하다 when the favor is for a THIRD PARTY: 엄마가 동생을 도와 주라고 하셨어요 = mom told me to help my younger sibling. The trick: 달라 points the favor back at the original speaker; 주라 points it at someone else. Korean is strict about this distinction, so always ask “who gets the help?”
How does -는다거나/-다거나 work for listing excuses? -다거나 lists alternatives or examples, often excuses or vague options, and usually comes in pairs: A-다거나 B-다거나. Action verbs take -ㄴ다거나/-는다거나 (간다거나, 먹는다거나), while adjectives and 이다 take plain -다거나 (아프다거나, 바쁘다거나). Example: 아프다거나 바쁘다거나 하면서 핑계를 댔어요 = he made excuses, saying things like he was sick or busy. It can also flag uncertainty: 가겠다거나 안 가겠다거나 분명하지 않아요 = it’s not clear whether he says he’ll go or not. Think of it as “saying things like X or Y” — a way to relay a fuzzy bundle of statements at once.
Next: passing messages — -거든 & -(으)니. Previous: indirect quotation — -다고/-냐고 하다. Full path: curriculum hub.